that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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