return my video game
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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