This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
