I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
