Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize