Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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