I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
