3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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