3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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