It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
