Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just found puke in my bra..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
