in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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