Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
