I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
