i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize