He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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