He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
