this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
