Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
