who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
