The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
