I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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