he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
