we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
