ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
