im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
