here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
