So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
