Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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