ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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