Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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