honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
