You're completely useless in the revolution.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So squirting runs in the family.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
