I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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