I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
