I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize