they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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