What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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