Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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