i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
