You're my little dorito
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
