i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
