Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
