Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
