Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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