I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
