I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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