If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
