threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
