She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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