so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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