i need an iv and a liver transplant
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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