I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
