you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize