i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
