i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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