are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
