Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
