At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We need to get me chipped asap
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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