She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
