so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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