alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
