Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
