Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
